In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
