...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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