carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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