i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
