I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
