There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
