She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
