all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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