I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
