i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm just crazy horny about you
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
