I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
