So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
