alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
