you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
