Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
