It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Dicks are not precious.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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