Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
