Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize