I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I've blown a few things in my day
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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