I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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