Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
