I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
