He passed out mid-signature
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
