I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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