i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
