you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
