There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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