It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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