I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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