return my video game
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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