OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
