I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
People in love make me want to vomit
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
