do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
