I feel like my teeth are sweating.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
