the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
