how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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