just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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