just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
