my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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