we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
