hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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