Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
