Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
