Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
