Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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