Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
