1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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