You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
