dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
