Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
