I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
