4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Porn is love you can see.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
handjob tips. give me some.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Randomize
