Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
