ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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