wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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