Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
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