my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
This is classic penis vs brain.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
