Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
