There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
