We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
