So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
